Do you remember an article I wrote several months ago about cutting loose in your "The Fervid 50's?"
In this article, I asked everyone in their 50's+ to turn the temperature up a little on their lifestyles by taking a few chances and spreading your wings a little more than usual. You know what? We have earned the right to live and display our personalities with a little "shock factor." Remember, we are not dead yet and the skies the limit when it comes to risk and adventure.
The real question is, are you game? Can you live like you are dying and without any regrets? This goes for not only married Baby Boomers and those in a secure relationship. If you are single, divorced or widowed, are you willing to take a few chances when it comes to how you engage the dating scene?
But, it is also much more complex. Even more so if you have young kids.
Dating in your 50's
More and more Baby Boomers are finding themselves "single" in their 50's whether it is from the loss of their spouse or from a divorce.
In my case, I chose to become "divorced" a couple of years ago. This was my second attempt at a lifelong commitment that wasn't. So, I found myself in an unfamiliar and unique situation. I was newly single, happy, financially secure and surrounded by my kids who are all adults with children themselves.
But, I really hadn't dated in any serious fashion in over 20 years. Between you and me, I really had no intention of hitting the dating scene again or even any idea how to prepare for it in case I wanted to date again.
Luckily, there is an enormous amount of support and advice available to those interested in successfully navigating the world of dating again.
I know it says "Single Moms, " but it applies to single Dads just as easily. Trust me on this one. I know what a single Dad's life is all about. I was a single Dad raising 2 young children for over 10 years back in the late 80's/early 90's. It can be difficult. It can be trying. It can make any attempt at dating a nightmare. It is an experience I would never trade.
So, in honor of all over 50+ "single" Moms and Dads out there, I offer you the following sage advice from "The Single Mom's Guide to Dating" mingled with my own witty repartee.
1) Clean Out Your Closets (literally and metaphorically)
In any significant relationship you collect a lot of “stuff.” There are physical mementos, photos, clothes and furniture of varying degrees of value. This is a perfect time to figure out the things you’d like to leave behind and the things you’d like to take with you. It’s not a time to be nostalgic or attached. Go through your “stuff” and see what will really serve you in the next stage of your life.
When in doubt, throw it out!
Consider the classic joke: "How can I be out of money when I still have more checks?"
Money is one of the most misunderstood issues out there. After you split, your assets split, but you now hold all of the responsibility for managing your own finances. You may have been the one in your marriage who kept the books and filed the taxes, or you may have avoided looking at a bank statement ever since you said, “I do.”
Regardless, now is the time when it’s imperative for you to face any fears and understand every detail of your debits and credits.
We aren't talking about the song by Olivia Newton John. Nor am I suggesting that you jump into bed with the first sex-toy that shows up. What I mean is that you need to take care of your body. This means getting a physical from a doctor or dentist so you’re up to date with things like pap smears, mammograms, prostate exams, hormones and oral hygiene. Not to mention every day exercising and eating well. When you feel good, everything else is easier.
You've got a lot on your shoulders and you need those shoulders to be strong.
Your family has gone through a lot of change. That can make everyone anxious……even the family pets. The best way to transition smoothly to a new lifestyle is to build in routines that can be depended upon. Create predictable visitation schedules with the kids. Continue to have family dinners. Create special bedtime rituals.
When the mechanics of your new home and life are running well, there will be more time for play.
When you’re on your own, it can be easy to get caught up in the details of handling everything and lose sight of the big picture. There might be so much more to manage, but give yourself permission to goof off.
Put down the laundry and play a game of Monopoly with the kids. Paint your daughter’s nails. Just sit and watch a video and share a bowl of popcorn..
Your kids will remember these things more than any clean shirt.
One of the worst parts of divorce or loss of a spouse is that friendships can shift and change. Who is your backup going to be? Who makes you laugh? Who makes you feel like your best self? Who’s really in your corner?
Find out who your true friends are and don't be afraid to ask them for help. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with positive, helpful and supportive friends not just "drinking buddies".
As you take that ever cautious and frightful step back into the world of dating, you want it to be your most confident and alluring step.
If you found today’s blog helpful, interesting, or even funny, I bet your friends would too.
It's easy to tell them about it.
Forward it on to them or just email them my blog link at www.survive55.com.
The more Baby Boomers we can help, the better place we make this world !!!
Thanks for joining me..........................................................