Last Wednesday I promised you all that I would get on the Healthcare.gov website and sign up and actually find out what this program had to offer me and at what cost.
Why would I make this promise to you?
Because I was promised by President Obama that the website was being fixed and that everything would be in good working condition when I got on it.
Again, why would I make this promise to you?
I should have known that nothing would be accomplished at least not this quickly.
What in the hell was I thinking?
IT'S STILL BROKEN.......REALLY BROKEN !!!
But there is a "Tech Surge" being directed at the website as we speak.
I love it.......a "Tech Surge"
What is a "Tech Surge"?
I think it means that Obama has pointed fingers at a couple of unfortunate companies and some even more poor and unfortunate souls who direct these unfortunate companies and said publicly that they need to start "throwing shit" at the website until something sticks.
My deep "insider" in Washington (I am making this up) told me that a special "shit throwing" management group has been developed to create new and exciting government "buzz phrases" to convince the general public that everything possible is being done to deflect any further developments on the performance of the website away from the public eye.
I have an inside track (I'm still making this up) to what we can expect to see in the coming weeks:
"Configuration Dormancy" - which means nobody right now knows what they are doing or what to do next
"Informational Battle Array" - Republicans and Democrats will escalate the number of "buzz phrases" being used in their news interviews to point the finger at each other
"Delusive Disquietude" - Those really involved with the repair of the website will spend more time trying to placate the general public with "good news" updates than really trying to fix the website issues themselves
"Excretion Adherence" - As the bugs of the website finally begin to iron themselves out, the people working on it will begin throwing even more "shit" at it to see if they can get even more shit to stick.
"The Department of Health and Human Services said at a weekend press conference that it was launching a "tech surge" for the website, but neither it nor the White House has provided details about the cause of the problems, precisely what is being done to fix them and who exactly is doing the fixing."
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT !!!
HHS (Health and Human Services) Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said in a blog posting that "A team of experts and specialists drawn from government and industry, "including veterans of top Silicon Valley companies," also would work to diagnose and repair the website's problems."
President Obama, who said on Monday that he was frustrated by the website's problems, turned on Tuesday to trusted adviser Jeffrey Zients to lead " the surge".
Zients, who will become head of the National Economic Council in January, will provide short-term management advice and counsel on the project.
Where will his team come from?
OK, you will have to follow me close on this one............
This weekend Reuters News reported that:
"Darrell Issa, the Republican Chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee has asked Google, Microsoft, Verizon Enterprise Solutions, Oracle and Expedia to provide details on their "possible" involvement in a "tech surge" aimed at fixing the healthcare.gov website."
I have heard, again from my "deep inside" source that the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is a key congressional oversight committee.
I think Darrell Issa is also the head of the "Informational Battle Array".
I have also heard from my "deep" source that (I am making this stuff up too) the President and his fellow "tech surgers" will be bringing the heads of "America Online", "Atari", "Netscape" and "Gateway" and "Compaq" out of retirement to try and clean up this mess.
Plus, rumor has it.........wait for it.........................there will be a free game of "Pong" downloadable with each successful healthcare application.
Can we ever view this type of government ineptness with enough humor?
Speaking of humor..........
Oh, by the way, does anyone remember Todd Park?
Hhhhmmmm.....wasn't he the 40-year-old wiz kid that helped build the original Healthcare.gov website in just under 90 days in 2010 when he was chief technology officer at the Department of Health and Human Services.
How come we haven't heard from him and his opinions on how this white elephant can be fixed?
I wonder if he is part of the "Delusive Disquietude" I "haven't" been hearing about.
I have heard rumors that some of the 14 states and the District of Columbia that initially decided to create their own healthcare marketplace websites may actually have some people successfully signing up on their websites and getting insurance policies.
It would be interesting to do some research on these states to see if they supported the bill in the first place or if they have some sizable political earmark additions they were promised for their initial support of the PPACA roll out that are riding on the success of this program.
Really, I think we should all just sit back and enjoy the excitement and entertainment value that this whole ordeal has brought to us and wait with baited breath for the first signs of the "Excretion Adherence" by the "tech surge" authorities.
Did you know it is now legal to masturbate in public in Sweden?
That's right folks - well, as long as you do not direct your attention (or intentions) at anyone in particular?
A 65-year-old Swedish man was acquitted of sexual assault recently after pleasuring himself on a beach in Stockholm in June.
The district court of Södertörn tossed out the charge on the grounds that he didn’t look at anybody while fondling himself. The court ruled he had committed no offense, as he did not direct his “activities” at any particular target.
Public prosecutor Olof Vrethammar told the Mitti newspaper that he had no plans to appeal and called the ruling “reasonable.”
When asked if the act is now acceptable in public, Vrethammar said public fondling was “okay” – as long as it’s not directed towards a specific individual — but may still be considered “disorderly conduct.”
Regardless, the ruling may serve as a precedent in Sweden, where some uncomfortable public exchanges may be imminent.
This is kind of like what our government is doing to us with the Healthcare.org website don't you think?
Wait til you get home, folks.
Thanks for joining me...............................................