FANTASTIC MONDAY MORNING TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL SURVIVE 55 FOLLOWERS........
Once again, I wake to start a new week after an incredible and busy weekend.
Someone needs to invent a couple of extra days to add to our 7 day week.
It seems like here is never enough time to get things done.
But, as long as you are enjoying life to the fullest then it really doesn't matter that you aren't getting everything done.
Speaking of not getting everything done........
There are a few things I wanted to share with everyone but haven't had the time to.
Kinda ironic isn't it?
One of these is to tell you all about a comedy show I went to last week with Darla, my daughter Veronique and her husband Antti.
We saw Emo Phillips at "Stand Up Scottsdale".
I am dedicating today's blog to Emo Phillips because he deserves it.
He was hilarious.
But, it wasn't just the fact that he was hilarious that makes him special as a comedian.
He is original.
His humor is quick witted, clever, intelligent and epigrammatic (I have always wanted to use that word) but at the same time droll, blithe, ridiculous and at times frivolous.
He says things that are so simplistic and sometimes stupid that you laugh until your side hurts because you realize that is what life is really like.
As Wikepedia describes him: " Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians and garden path sentences spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant."
This was his first visit ever to Phoenix.
So, if he ever comes back, or even close, I highly recommend that you take a chance and go see his show.
It's not for everybody but if it's for you you will have a great time.
Have you ever pondered the question: What famous celebrities, dead or alive, would you like to invite to a dinner party?
Now that I have seen Emo live, I would have him at the top of my guest list.
So today's blog is dedicated to Emo Phillips, a fellow Chicagoan, snappy dresser and strangely entertaining comedian.
That's all there is is just a little.
Emo Philips was born February 7, 1956 just 267 days before me in a suburb of Chicago called Downers Grove just 267 blocks from where I was born.
Philips has recorded three comedy albums.
His album E=mo², recorded live at Caroline's in New York City, won the 1985 New Music Award for best comedy album.
It was later re-released along with his Live at the Hasty Pudding Theater album on a single CD.
He also released an album called Emo in 2001.
A joke of his was voted funniest religious joke ever in a 2005 online poll.
In 2006, he appeared at the Newbury Comedy Festival.
He was included in the top 50 of Entertainments 100 Greatest Comedians, and also appeared number 54 on TV's top 100 greatest "standups."
Aside from Philips' long career as a standup comic, he has been featured in acting roles on television series such as Miami Vice and The Weird Al Show.
In 2006, he appeared on British television, as a guest on the panel game 8 Out of 10 Cats.
Philips has several voice over credits, including work on the animated series Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist; Home Movies; Space Ghost: Coast to Coast; Adventure Time as Cuber the mysterious storyteller; and the voice of Dooper in the animated series Slacker Cats.
He has appeared in feature films, including 1989's UHF (as a rather clumsy school shop teacher who accidentally saws his thumb off), the original 1992 version of Meet the Parents and Desperation Boulevard in 1998.
So here's some of his jokes.
They are funny but multiply them by 1000 when you see him tell them live.
- Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: "A truck!"
- How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
- I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?" And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
- New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
- People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
- When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun..
- My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and... placing bets...
- When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
- You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
- You know, at parties, people always ask, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi!
- People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
- The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip... which, according to your own very latest government Pentagon spending figures, will more than make up the difference."
- Well, my brother says "hello"! So, hooray for speech therapy.
- I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.
- My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.
- I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"
- I got into a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
- When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
- People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked. That is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.
Go see him if you get the chance.
Thanks for joining me..........................................