There's a place but it's not plain to see
Where I belong, where no one else can be
I'm searching for myself again
And here I'm all alone and when
I close my eyes, no one else can see"
I Walk Alone, can't you see?
- SIMMONS, GENE / KULICK, BRUCE
Its another beautiful day in paradise.
Today is Day 3 of our morning walk routine and there has been a big change already.
Today, I walk alone.
That's right, just like the KISS lyrics above, I found myself hitting the road without Darla this morning.
Last night was not a good night for her.
After our brisk early morning walk yesterday, we both fell asleep easily at bedtime and slept well until about 2 in the morning.
That's when our ceiling fan decided to develop the most annoying tick and anything she did to try and get rid of it just made it more aggressive.
The worst part is that the fan hangs off the peak of a 16 foot ceiling so there was no fixing the issue.
Has this ever happened to you?
Anyway, Darla wound up on the living room couch and didn't get a very good night's sleep. I guess the fan didn't bother me enough to lose any sleep over it.
I decided to continue the morning walk routine alone today to further study its effects on my sleep patterns.
Today I logged 2.32 miles in just over 13 minutes. I feel good. I think I will take a nap.....….just kidding.
That's right, Father's Day is less than two weeks away.
To begin the celebration I thought I would serve up some humorous Father's Day stories I found on the internet.
Let me tell you being a father is not an easy task. I first became a Dad when I was 30. It was not easy then and it is definitely not any easier now that I am over the age of 50.
Do I have everyone's sympathy yet?
A man has to go through many hardships (and beer) to fulfill his responsibility of being "Dad".
The moment a man becomes a Dad, he forgets about his own life and put a priority on the health, growth, welfare and success of his children (with the hopes that his children will support him when he becomes old and doddering).
A Dad bestows his children with unconditional love and care, without asking for anything in return (OK, maybe that they move out before they are 30 and return your credit cards).
He tries his best to make his children's life perfect (so they will stop borrowing money).
Fathers work day and night just to fulfill each demand and need of their children (just so they stop whining all of the time).
Therefore, Father's Day provides children with a chance to treat him specially (beer, hot dogs and cigars) and make him proud of his fatherhood ( look for your very own special "World's Greatest Dad T-shirt).
Hopefully, on this glorious day (for Hallmark Cards anyway) day, you will make your Dad realize your love and gratitude (or at least trick him into thinking you care).
One of the best ways is to have a hilarious encounter (aren't they all hilarious encounters when Dad is hanging out in his Batman Boxers and food stained dago t-shirt) with your Dad by telling him some funny and rib tickling Father's Day stories.
That's what I am giving my trusty over 50 followers today (print this blog out and slip a copy to you kids).
Below are some of the funnier slice-of-life stories about Dads that I found.
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?"
The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess."
The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Being the good wife, Father's Day was near so I brought my three-year-old son to the card store.
Inside, I showed him the cards for Dads and told him to pick one out.
When I looked back, he was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way.
"Son, what are you doing?" I asked. "Haven't you found a nice card for Daddy yet?"
"No," he replied. "I'm looking for one with money in it."
On the day I received my learner's permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson.
With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver's seat.
"Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side?" I asked.
"Princess, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl," Dad replied.
"Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat."
My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him.
When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her.
She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags.
He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.
Here's a letter my son sent me while off at college. Obviously, things had gotten fairly tight financially for him.
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story.
From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
After tucking their three-year-old child in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically.
He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die.
No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from his ear..............he was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
Little Susan was mother's helper.
She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner.
Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down.
Then Mother noticed something was missing.
"Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."
"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan.
"Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"
Our teenage daughter made my husband a Father’s Day card
entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.”
She added such gems as:
“Can you turn up that music?”
I love your new blue hair.
“Go ahead and take my truck and here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
“I love your new tattoo. We should both get new ones together.”
“Here, you take the remote.”
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a glass of water?"
So, Cheers to all of the father's who now find themselves over the age of 50.
Remember, Father's day is less than 2 weeks away so prepare yourselves.
There will probably be more "Father's Day fun" in my blog in the weeks ahead
Keep smiling and think on the bright side....You are a Father now but if you are lucky you will soon be a grandfather !!!
Thanks for joining me.........................